With billions of dollars spent on flowers, cards, chocolates, and other gifts for a single day, Valentine’s Day is too popular to go unnoticed by Christian singles who are not in a romantic relationship.
It doesn’t matter if you believe in the observance of the day or not. The media and advertisement, both online and offline, will make sure you know it is that season when you’re missing out on being loved by the opposite sex.
You see people celebrate their significant others with wishes, poems, date nights, or even marriage proposal. Then you look at yourself, and you’re all alone. Maybe it’s been years since you’d been in a relationship.
Not every single cares about Valentine’s Day, but for some Christian singles, this day is a seasonal reminder of their unfulfilled dream of getting married or meeting that special someone. For some, it may be a season of regret and self-blame for relationships that didn’t work.
If you’re not careful, the atmosphere around you can stir up feelings of loneliness, bitterness, and anger against God. Instead of this being just another day to be thankful to God for life, the celebratory atmosphere can cause you to depreciate the goodness of God and the blessing that your life is to those around you.
Below are four evergreen truths to encourage the Christian Single who is feeling the toll of Valentine’s Day.
1. God STILL Loves You
This is not cliché!
Many times, we measure God’s love for us by how much He has granted our heart’s desires. For many singles, that heart’s desire is marriage. So, it’s tempting to question that love when that desire remains unfulfilled year after year. It’s even more tempting when we’ve lived right, yet others who haven’t sacrificed as much as we’ve done get what we want without much ado.
Dear single, God. still. loves. you.
Maybe during last Valentine’s Day, you imagined that by this time, you would have met The One so you can join the rest of the world to celebrate love. Now you feel let down. It seems God doesn’t care.
That’s not true. He still loves you. His thoughts towards you are still good. He’s still the best thing to happen to you.
So keep living right. Keep doing Jesus. Don’t lower your standards. At the right time (link), He’ll grant your desires for marriage.
2. Singleness Doesn’t Define You
And neither will marriage. You have an identity in Christ that is independent of relationship status. Letting the mood around a day sadden you is a sign that you don’t hold firmly to what God says about you and His promises to meet your needs.
3. Relationship and Marriage is Important, but You Can Still Be Happy Now
Marriage is wonderful, and you should get married.
But your happiness and contentment in life shouldn’t depend on your relationship status. Postponing your contentment to when you’ll be married is setting yourself up for disappointment.
Singles always see the grass greener in marriage. You can’t wait to get married and be complete and happy. So Valentine’s Day becomes a reminder of your incomplete, unhappy life.
Remember this: happiness and contentment derived from a fellow human is unstable. Married people admit that natural happiness in marriage has a short shelf life, and couples must work at it to stay happy. Singles don’t always have this truth when they set unrealistic expectations for marriage or postpone a chunk of their happiness to when they will get married.
An imperfect human cannot give you what only a perfect God can give. Seek happiness and contentment in God while you’re still single.
4. A Godly Marriage is Still Worth the Wait
Feeling blue on Valentine’s Day can cause you to rush into relationship, which likely means opening the door to the wrong person because you don’t have the time to vet your prospects.
Your desire for marriage shouldn’t be about a change of status. Aim for a marriage that mirrors the relationship between Christ and His Body, the church. Such a marriage is worth preparing for in this waiting season of your singleness.
As your heart yearns for love and relationship this day, let that yearning lead to self-reflection. Are you ready for marriage? If God brings that person into your life now, can you accommodate them? What areas of your life need improvement?
Valentine’s Day Ideas for Christian Singles
You don’t have to observe Valentine’s Day. It is fine to consider February 14 as just another day to carry on with your routine activities.
But who says you can’t benefit from the observance to do something a little special? Valentine’s day is not limited to people in romantic relationships. It is also a day to celebrate general relationships and friendship.
This is what some Christian women had to say about their observance of Valentine’s Day:
- Give love to your family. You have parents and siblings. Although you should love them every day, there’s no harm in putting in an extra effort on Valentine’s Day.
- Organize a singles’ outing with your friends. You don’t need a singles’ awareness day to have some time out with your single friends. Valentine’s Day could be just the perfect time for a picnic that helps you all to offer mutual encouragement to one another over dinner, snacks, or a movie.
- Do good to other singles. Even without an outing, you can still let your fellow single friends know they’re loved and appreciated. You can send them prayers, cards, candies, flowers, chocolates.
- Pray for the continued blessing of those in committed relationships. I bet you, that will take care of any envy or insecurities on your part.
- Pamper yourself. No one is sending you candy? Buy some for yourself. No one is taking you out for dinner? Put on some music, dance, and have a good time.
- Shift your focus. Most importantly, let your focus stay on things that are important. Things like desiring more of God, personal development, and being useful to your community.