What to do When God Shows You Your Future Husband
When God shows you your future husband, what do you do? While most Christian single women believe that it is wise to wait and pray for the guy to come, some wonder whether they should just walk up to the guy and tell him what God told them.
In this post, I address the following concerns around this issue.
- What to do when God shows you your future husband
- Can a woman approach a man when she’s convinced he will be her husband?
What to do when God shows you your future husband
Ask God what you should do. Simple. Your first counselor should always be the Lord.
People can give you advice, but you need to also hear God for yourself. If you can hear the Lord tell you the guy who will be your husband, you can equally hear Him about what to do.
There’s a reason God is showing you your future husband. He might be seeking to protect you from a bad choice or there may be things you need adjust in your life before you can receive your mate. Or the Lord may want you to position yourself where your path crosses with that of your future husband.
You need to understand what the Lord wants you to do, and then you do it.
When God shows you your future husband, ask God what next you should do. Then you do itTweet
Why you should wait for the guy to come to you
For the most part, as a woman, you’ll need to wait for the come to come to you. Waiting serves two purposes.
In this other post, I talked about how to tell if it’s really God showing you your future husband and not you hearing other voices. I emphasized that because many singles, both males and females, have at some point believed God showed them who to marry and then it either didn’t come to pass or the choice turned out to be a very terrible mistake
Waiting helps you to examine your heart to be sure God has really spoken to you. If you were merely lusting or been infatuated with the guy and took that for God showing you your future husband, waiting can eventually lessen those feelings.
Let me share a story with you. It happened to a man instead, but it’s just as relevant to a woman who believes God has shown her future husband.
This single guy once developed an attraction for a girl in his church. He had a very vivid dream with a clear interpretation about the girl marrying him.
For several months, this attraction stayed with him, but he never acted on it. After a season, the feelings wore off completely, and he couldn’t even fathom the fact that he would want the girl for his wife.
What if he had acted on that dream and feeling immediately and the girl turned him down? Or maybe she would have accepted to date him and along the line, they found out they were not meant to be? Or they actually got married and discovered it was a terrible decision!?
Some people have experienced bad marriages because they acted on a “word from God.”
It is not wise to act immediately on a word from God about your future husband or wife. Time is your friend, and waiting helps you understand whether the voice you’ve heard is God’s or another voice.
Impatience should even ring an alarm in your heart that the flesh or maybe the devil is leading you in the wrong direction.
When you wait and the guy finally comes, that’s one confirmation that God indeed told you the guy is going to be your husband. Although that’s not the final confirmation, but it’s a big one.
Why do I say it’s not the final confirmation? Because the guy could still come when it’s not God bringing him.
If you read negative testimonies of people who believed God showed them their future husbands, sometimes they were confirmations that were not divine orchestrations.
The surest confirmation that God showed you your future husband is when you finally get married to a suitable partner.
That’s not to say the marriage would not have challenges. But if you marry a guy who doesn’t fit you, someone you would resent for the rest of your life, it is very likely God did not speak to you about the man being the one for you.
Is it wrong to approach a man when God shows you your future husband?
Is it wrong to approach a man when God shows you your future husband? Does the Bible forbid a woman from going to a man? Is a woman committing a sin or a crime if she opens up to a man about her feelings for him, especially a man she’s convinced God has told her he will be her husband?
My answers are yes and no. It depends.
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Let me state early on that approaching a man is not the same thing as proposing marriage. More about that in a moment.
I know of no biblical injunction against a woman going to a man. Rather, we see Ruth approaching Boaz.
Some people quote Proverbs 18:22.
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
They say it is “he who finds” and not “she who finds.”
What I learned in my Bible Interpretation class is this: Proverbs and other poetic texts have their way of being interpreted. You can’t always take them literally.
You can’t even quote the above verse to everyone man that has found a wife. Not every wife is a good thing to the husband that has found her. Some women are a thorn in their husbands’ flesh.
And you can’t declare as truth that “She who finds a husband finds a bad thing and does not receive favor from the LORD.”
A proverb is a specific illustration to signify a universal truth about life. I believe Proverbs 18:22 says a good mate is a good thing and he or she who finds a good mate receives favor from the Lord.
Culturally, it is a man that approaches a woman. It is societal standards only. The Bible does not forbid a woman from going to a man.
You can Approach a man when God shows you your future husband
I do not recommend that you go to a guy. Let me iterate: I do not recommend you going to a guy. Waiting for him to come to you is always your best option for reasons stated above.
However, I know godly, enviable Christian marriages where it is the woman who went to the guy. In each case, the man already had the same thoughts towards the woman, so her coming out was a confirmation that God was indeed putting them together.
In one case, the lady had waited and prayed for the guy to come. And he was not coming. So after some time, she sought the Lord about it, and she believed the Lord told her to go to him.
She did and it turned out a beautiful testimony.
From the guy’s side of the story, he was not going to come to her anytime soon. He had initially sensed that God was putting them together, but unsure of his “hearing”, he had resorted to silencing whatever he felt towards her.
Some men lack the courage to approach a woman, especially if they are not sure she would accept them.
So while I do not recommend you go to a guy, I do not condemn any lady that feels led to do so. The goal is a godly, role-model marriage. Just because it’s the man that approaches a woman doesn’t mean the marriage will be successful and happy.
When to approach a man God has shown you he’s your future husband
I recommend the following 4 conditions should be in place when you’re going to a guy.
- You’ve waited and prayed for him to come for a long time. Ideally two years. I believe two years is ample time to assess your heart and be sure you’ve truly heard from God. It is also ample time for lust and infatuation to wear off.
Even if it turns out you did not hear from God, two years is a good time to stop waiting, hoping, and praying for a guy who’ll never come.
Some ladies have waited 10 years just to wake up one morning to find their “future husband” getting married to another woman. Ouch!
- You’re close and friendly with the guy in real life. It shouldn’t be someone you only met over social media.
That closeness helps you to open up without much fear. It reduces the risk of you incurring shame. That is if the guy is a godly man who would not go around announcing to everyone that you approached him.
- You are not proposing marriage. You’re not going to say, “John, will you marry me.” Or “John, the Lord told me you’re my future husband.”
In the cases I quoted where the woman approached the man, these women did not propose marriage. They simply opened up about their affection for the guy.
- Lastly, you’ve prayed about the move and have peace in your spirit about it. This is important because some single ladies approach men with the fear that if they don’t act fast, the guy would find someone else.
If God told you a guy will be your husband, God would put roadblocks on the guy’s path and redirect his steps to you.
If the guy dates and finally marries someone else, then God did not speak to you.
Yes, you can approach a guy when God shows you he’s your future husband. But tread with patience.