Living single as a Christian doesn’t have to be a depressing experience of loneliness. Yes, there’s are challenges and struggles to Christian singleness, but you can learn to enjoy this season while waiting for marriage.
My experience of a victorious and purpose-driven singleness has been a journey of making mistakes, growing, and finding contentment in this season.
There was a time I hated being single. At nineteen, my anxiety levels were shooting through the roof, and I thought I would develop high blood pressure if I didn’t get married that year. Honestly.
I was in an environment that laid so much emphasis on getting married that the drive to conform was high. I fantasized about marriage all the time and thought of nothing more important the Lord could do for me than lead me to the right person.
Fast forward ten years later, two breakups, and still single when I made a life-changing decision to prioritize the pursuit of God’s purpose for my life.
Things began to fall into place. Which made me realize that living single as a Christian while waiting or pursuing marriage doesn’t have to be a passive season. It doesn’t have to be one filled with anxiety and fear, either.
Your singleness can be a blessing if you know how to make the most of this season. The challenges will not cease, but a right mindset arms you with joy and victory.
What Does the Bible say About Living Single as a Christian?
Have you ever searched to know what the Bible says about being single? I doubt that many singles actually do. Much of what I knew about singleness was from my environment, sadly a Christian environment, but not the Bible. Singleness was an inferior life. It was something to be ashamed of. It was something to worry and pray about finding the right person to marry soon.
Nowhere in the scripture do you find singleness implied to be a sin, a punishment, or an inferior, second-best life.
God values both marriage and singleness
The Bible shows that both marriage and singleness are valued by God. Each state serves its purpose to the glory of God. The Lord expects those with a strong sexual desire to seek marriage. Otherwise, it is perfectly normal for a Christian to live single for life.
Singleness is a gift. Marriage is a gift. For some persons, singleness is lifelong; for the majority of people, it’s a temporary season. That is what the Bible says about singleness.
1 Corinthians 7:7-9
I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.
But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
When you know this truth, it liberates you from society’s wrong perspectives that push singles towards impatience, anxiety, insecurity, and vulnerability to making bad choices.
How to Enjoy Your Single Season
Whether you desire to get married or plan to remain single, living single as a Christian can be joyful and fruitful, but it also has its seasons of discontent. Pressure from your body, pressure from friends, family, and society, and the effects of seeing others getting married can team up to make a single’s life miserable. There’s also the temptation to get angry with God for your singleness.
1. Pursue Intimacy with God: He must be your strength to deal with the challenges of singleness. Your relationship with God is your source of strength, joy, and confidence. Life and singleness will throw challenges at you, and it’s in the secret place of intimacy with God that you reign as an overcomer
2. Love Yourself and Embrace this Season: Loving yourself is much more than having nice feelings about you. Check out this other post on practical ways to loving your Christian single self.
3. Find and Begin to Follow Your God-Given Purpose: One of the best things a single can do is to pursue their purpose. Purpose gives you direction and focus. Without purpose, life feels empty and boring, and it can be easier to escape singleness with the wrong person.
Purpose also makes you more aware and firm about the qualities to look for in a mate. Prioritizing God’s plan for your life means you can’t marry just anyone. You’ll need a man or a woman who can accept and encourage what the Lord has called you to do.
4. Build healthy relationships. Date with Purpose and Purity: Glorify God with your body (1 Corinthians 6:18-20) and protect your heart during this season. One way to do this is to date for the right reason (with the goal to get married) and with godly principles (no sex before marriage)
5. Refuse to please your family, friends, or church expectations about marriage: Many times your challenges with living single will have nothing to do with the lack of healthy relationships, but with what your family, friends, and church thing about your singleness. To enjoy your single season, you must say ‘no’ to unhealthy pressure and mean it.
6. Accept Challenges of Living Single as a Christian as Normal Life: Living single and contented as you wait for or pursue marriage means facing the challenges of the unmarried life. Those struggles are not strange. Every phase of life has its own challenges. Instead of panicking and rushing into marriage unprepared, learn how to deal with the challenges.
To wrap up, living single as a Christian can either be a time of loneliness, depression, and desperation, or it can be a season of fruitfulness. I pray that the Lord will empower you to choose joy and happiness
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