How to wait on God’s timing for marriage the right way
Because the topic of waiting on God’s timing for a husband seems to be controversial for some people, it is important to answer questions and concerns related to the topic before talking about the right way to wait.
This will help you take a firm stand when you come across people who tell you there’s nothing like waiting on God for a husband.
Stay with me let’s answer the following questions:
- Does God make singles wait?
- Does God force two people to be together?
- Is there only one man that fits you?
- What does it mean to wait on God for a husband?
- How to know God is making you wait?
- What to do while waiting on God’s timing for a husband
Does God make singles wait for His timing for marriage?
Some people teach that God has nothing to do with when and who you get married to. That it is entirely up to you.
But that’s not true. There are irrefutable testimonies of God telling singles to wait and trust Him to bring their partners to them at the right time.
Because God has a plan for each one of us, because He’s concerned about us, who we get married to and even when we get married is as much His business as it is ours.
It is strange to think that as Christians we can compartmentalize our lives and have God involved in some areas and not in some. When you have the right attitude, there’s no difference between your ‘secular’ and ‘spiritual’ lives. It’s just one life sold out to Jesus in every area.
Does God force two people to be together?
No. Waiting on God for a husband is a thing of guidance. If you want to marry a non-Christian man, go ahead, God will let you do it.
God will not also force you to marry a Christian man you don’t like. Assuming you’re genuine in your love and pursuit of God, this is one way to tell whether you are hearing from God or from some religious feelings or deceitful spirits.
I heard the story of a guy who went for premarital counseling with a lady and the counselor noticed the couple didn’t suit each other. During a one-on-one session with the man, the counselor asked if he loved the girl. The young man sadly replied that he only tolerated the girl because God told him she’s his wife! The counselor immediately advised him to dissolve the relationship.
God does not dictate who you should marry such that you have no choice whatsoever to reject the person. If a relationship feels forced, if it steals your joy and unsettles your spirit, it is not God. Disregard any voice you might have heard telling you the man is your husband.
Is there only one man that fits you?
No. I don’t believe that when God created you, He also picked the man you will marry. Who you get married to and when you get married have more to do with your preparedness for marriage than about God randomly picking your mate from the womb.
That is why in considering a man, you should pay attention to suitability points like mutual spiritual beliefs and common ground in the pursuit of purpose and destiny. If you feel called to the mission field, it only makes sense to marry someone with similar passion. Instead of looking for your “ordained” man; look for who you can live with in harmony.
And be open to God’s leading. I met this guy who was the picture of my ideal man. He wasn’t flawless but had positive points to his credit, one of which was our common ground in terms of ministry goals. But I developed a lack of peace in my spirit about the relationship.
While praying, I felt like the Lord told me the guy wasn’t the one for me. But I didn’t take it seriously, which resulted in wounds and regrets when the relationship collapsed.
So meeting a man who fits you doesn’t mean you must marry him. God, for reasons you may not understand, can warn you against proceeding into marriage.
What does it mean to wait on God’s timing for a husband?
Waiting on God’s timing for a husband is not you watching TV or wasting time on social media while believing that when the clock strikes the appropriate time, your Mr. Right will locate you.
No, it’s an active waiting in which you glorify God by focusing on His agenda for you now, trusting that He’ll cause your path to cross with that of a suitable man.
It really boils down to God’s purpose and destiny for your life. When you know that your life here is not a mistake, when you know that God is interested in you and that your marriage mate is also His business, it becomes secondary nature to belief that everything about you must fit into that purpose, including who you marry.
So waiting on God’s timing for a husband means waiting for a man that fits you and the path God wants for your life.
If you have a sloppy Christian life and for some obvious character and attitude problems you can’t get relationships that mature into marriage, you have no right to believe that God is keeping you single.
Which brings me to the next point…
How to tell God is making you wait for a husband
Ask Him about His plans for you concerning marriage! Simple. He can and will tell you if you seek His guidance. As a child of God, you should be hearing His voice. Because God is omnipotent, He can show you things about your future husband.
But if you’re doubting or fearful you might not be hearing from God, here are three points that can help you tell whether God is making you wait for His timing for your husband.
- If you’re walking faithfully with the Lord and have godly character attractive to the opposite sex,
- If you’re pursuing God’s purpose for your life,
- And if you’re not narrow-minded about the qualities you want in a man…
Then it is highly probable that God is making you wait.
However, simply knowing that God is making you wait for His timing for your husband doesn’t mean that waiting will be rosy. No, waiting is usually a painful process.
Waiting is like a wilderness experience
The waiting season can be a wilderness experience. Although God is present, many things don’t make sense, and sometimes, it feels like He is not present. Like, He doesn’t care!
It is that season where we can focus so much on what we lack that we fail to appreciate what God is doing. That’s why singles-in-waiting can get fearful. “Is God really the one making me wait? Why would He make me wait? What if I wait in vain?”
Without the right attitude, your waiting season will be filled with impatience, grumbling, and complaining. Waiting has a purpose, and for that purpose to be fulfilled, you must wait actively and patiently.
There must be temptations you are continually resisting by taking a firm stand for godly principles. You must be resisting distractions that seek to lure you away from God’s plan.
When fear is screaming into your ear that God doesn’t care, and pushing you to walk faster than God, God’s kind of waiting helps you stay put, even when you have to do it through gritted teeth.
When you have a Mr. Wrong interested in you, God’s kind of waiting compels you to say no, even when your emotions and everyone around you are screaming yes and accusing you of foolishness.
The wilderness is a painful place that deals harshly with our emotions, and challenges our perspectives. It is a time of pruning and purification to prepare for the next phase of life.
God could teleport the Israelites from Egypt to Canaan, but He didn’t. He didn’t even use the shorter path. Why choose the longer road through the desert? Exodus 13:17 says the people weren’t ready to face serious challenges of getting to the Promised Land.
You may be single right now because God must work on you before He brings you and your husband together for the assignment He’s called you to.
Preparation is a process many Christian single women don’t enjoy. And that is understandable. Our biology shouts every day that we are ready, society tells us we’re past ready, and family may be shoving marriage down our throats.
But God sees differently. He has a plan, He has a destination, and He has a process, one which is usually painful and confusing to our flesh and carnal minds.
How to wait on God’s timing for a husband the right way (What to do while waiting on God’s timing for a husband)
- Spend time with God regularly. Build an intimate relationship with Him.
It is impossible to actively wait on the Lord without a vibrant relationship with Him. Waiting is hard, and it is in the closet that your strength is renewed.
But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint—Isaiah 40:31, KJV.
Now, that is active waiting!
The moment you take your eyes off of God and focus on your lack, you become weary of waiting. You place yourself in a place of great vulnerability to terrible mistakes.
Another beautiful passage about waiting is Psalm 27:13-14. Please read it meditatively.
13 I would have lost heart, unless I had believed That I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord! NKJV
Patience is not a fruit of sheer determination. If you must remain joyful as you wait, you need a routine of spending time with God in prayer and in the word to receive a fresh ability to stand in faith daily.
2. Continue to pursue your God-given purpose
3. Avoid comparing yourself with engaged or married people
Godly waiting is impossible when you compare your life with other people. The differences breed resentment, causing you to forget that God has individual plans and timelines for His children. Your life is not in competition with anyone!
4. Take a stand against temptations and ungodly wisdom
If the wait gets longer, you would be tempted to take shortcuts. Your body will tell you waiting is hard, your mind will breed doubts.
When it looks like you’re crazy believing God to meet your husband, people will tell you there’s nothing like waiting on God’s timing for a husband. They might even quote Christian single women getting married to people out of the church.
You’ll have a choice: believe God’s report about your life or take the advice of those who don’t love God and get married to an unsuitable man because you’re afraid you won’t meet someone who loves God.
5. Don’t pray for your future husband if it breeds impatience
This is a sensitive area because some Christians encourage praying for your future spouse. While I don’t believe it bothers everyone, I see in it a potential for distraction and impatience.
I tried it and just couldn’t bring myself to pray fervently for a man I don’t know. Rather, I chose to trust God and focus on Him. But some singles pray diligently for their future husbands. If that’s you, and it doesn’t breed impatience, go on.
Our minds are wired such that what we are preoccupied with, we want it right away. It can be hard to wait long and patiently for God’s timing when you are regularly praying for your future husband.
Sooner or later, you’ll arrive at a point where you wonder why God isn’t bringing the man your way. This can breed anger against God for your singleness.
This is my belief, and I stick with it: If you seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and you’re a single woman with godly character, you don’t need to ask for a mate before the Lord gives you him.
You don’t need to pray for the relationships of an unknown man to fail. You don’t need to pray for someone you don’t know before God brings him your way.
Along your path of walking with the Lord is a suitable mate to manifest at God’s timing. Individual stories vary, but be assured that God knows your desire and need for a husband.
Singleness is an opportune season to give the Lord undivided attention. God wants your energy, time, and resources right now to be channeled into building your relationship with Him and serving Him in the areas to which He has called you.
Father, thank you for the future you have for me. I know there is someone out there who fits me more than anyone else. I know that in your timing, you’ll bring us together.
Lord, I want to wait for that time in a way that glorifies you. Sometimes waiting gets hard. When I see my friends getting married, when people put pressure on me, when my body longs for sex and companionship, I get impatient for your will and timing. Please, Father, help me. I know your will and time are the best. Show me what to focus on as I wait. In Jesus name, Amen.