“Can God show you your future husband?” is a common question among Christian single ladies. In this post, I answer the question, ….anddddd… I also show you how to tell if it is God speaking to you, and not you hearing another voice. Yes, because there are several voices that can mimic the voice of God.
I understand there are people who teach that God cannot show you who to marry. That your choice of mate is entirely your business. Well, I agree with the second part of their argument: your choice of mate is yours. I do not believe in soul mates as in God creating you and also creating someone you are inevitably bound to marry.
But I get where some of these people are coming from. There are many, many testimonies of people who at one point believed God showed them their future husband or wife, and then it never came to pass or it turned out to be a terrible choice.
It happened to me. I once believed God showed me my future husband, and I had these wonderful images of our Christian home. And then it never happened.
The experience left me devastated, spiritually. I couldn’t reconcile reality with the fact that I’d heard from God.
But despite my experience, I still believe God can show you your future spouse. Why?
First, God is a Father. He is concerned about every area of our lives, including who we get married to and when we get married. I can’t even imagine a Christian cutting off God from a part of their lives.
He owns us, so who we marry and when we get married is definitely His business!
If we let Him guide us, yes, He can show us who to marry. He can show you your future husband or your future wife.
Second, God is a guide. He wants to lead us to the right person; He wants to protect us from bad choices.
So it’s a thing of guidance. God will not force you to marry someone you don’t like, someone who doesn’t fit you, someone you’ll resent for the rest of your life.
So if it feels like God is forcing a man on you, if the only reason you’re considering a guy is because “God told you the guy is going to be your husband” it is very likely it is not God showing you your future husband.
Third, why I believe God can show you your future husband is from the amazing testimonies of people that God showed them their mates and it turned out to be one of the best things to happen. Just because some people mistake other voices for God’s voice should not push us to another extreme.
How to tell God is showing you your future husband
Let me begin with a caveat: You can still mistake another voice for God’s voice even when you try your best. It depends on where you are in your intimacy with God.
Hearing God’s voice is a process. We learn and grow, and sometimes missing it is how we learn to discern the Lord’s voice more.
So don’t be condemned if you think God has shown you your future husband or wife and it doesn’t come to pass. Sit down, evaluate everything, learn what you can learn, and then move on. God still loves you.
Before talking about how to rightly discern God’s voice, it is important to highlight other voices that mimic God’s voice and deceive us into thinking we’ve heard from God about our future husband or wife.
Voices that mimic God’s voice
Lust and Infatuation
These have to do with an intense desire for the guy or girl you’re thinking might be your future husband or wife.
Because you think about them often, even in your sleep you dream about them, it is easy to conclude that God is writing your love story.
One big red flag with lust and infatuation is that common sense loses its voice. That intense desire causes you to ignore what you shouldn’t ignore.
For example, maybe the guy or girl is not a serious Christian, maybe they are rude, arrogant, or even immoral, maybe they don’t have the same focus and direction with you, but since you’re “convinced” God has showed you your future husband or wife, you ignore those red flags.
No one is flawless, but there are things you shouldn’t ignore when it comes to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
I believe this is where many Christian singles miss it. They can easily detect lust and infatuation, but personal desires can conveniently disguise as the still small voice of God.
As a Christian single who dreams of a godly home, you definitely have the picture of your dream husband. Then here comes this guy with those very qualities you’ve been longing for.
It is very tempting to connect dots and believe God is showing you they’re going to be your husband.
Now, that can be God talking to you. But personal desires can never become God’s will if those desires do not align with God’s unique plan for your life. Not every godly Christian guy is supposed to be your mate.
Brother John stands up to pray or lead worship in church. As you watch him, suddenly you hear a voice in your ear, “That’s the one for you. He’s going to be your husband.”
Oh, that is so real, it makes for a very wonderful “How we met” story, right. Well, the only thing is that John may already be engaged and you don’t know, or John might never come to you. Or if you go to John, he would tell you, “NO.”
God can talk to us anyhow He pleases, I don’t doubt that. But when you hear voices in romantic relationships, watch out. Many Christian singles have heard deceitful spirits thinking it’s God’s voice.
Deceitful spirits can also operate through other people. This is especially common in prophetic churches or settings where some persons impose themselves as the mouthpiece of God.
How to Weed out These Voices
1. When you sense that God is showing you your future husband, pray.
But please, don’t pray for the guy to come I know that’s where many Christian single ladies love to start from.
Instead, pray that God will help you weed out any voice that might be deceiving you. Ask the Lord that if this is pure lust or infatuation, He should help you overcome. Ask the Lord to help you discern if this is just your personal desire. Pray, pray, pray. Fast if necessary.
It hurts, emotionally and spiritually, to believe God has shown you your future husband or wife and then it doesn’t come to pass. So don’t arrive at a conclusion hastily.
2. Search your heart. Be sincere with the Lord and with yourself.
Ask yourself, “Is there something pulling me to John?” Maybe it’s physical looks, education, charisma, etc.
I’m not saying those things are bad. Just don’t let their appeal deceive you into believing God is showing you your future husband.
Are you ignoring red flags? Are there checks in your spirit? Are you comfortable with the thought of spending the rest of your life with that guy?
This is the mistake I made. I saw things that unsettled me, but since I believed God was speaking, I ignored and hoped things would smoothen themselves once we got married.
The importance of searching your heart is to be sure you’re not making this “knowing” up. If you deceive your heart, your heart will reciprocate the deception double.
Then when John marries someone else, you’d be confused, wondering, “But God showed me John was my future husband.”
3. Ask God for Confirmation
A word of caution here.
When most Christian singles are praying about a guy or girl, they’re really praying, “God, let this be the one!” instead of seeking to discover God’s will.
So in asking for confirmation, be sure your deepest desire is to understand God’s will. Do not use prayer to let God show you what you desire—which is to have John as your husband.
Do not fleece God in ways that your fleece can work, even when it’s not God. It has happened to many singles. They prayed for confirmation and got it, but it wasn’t God.
I can’t overemphasize the importance of baring your heart to the Lord. Done with all sincerity, God cannot allow you to be led astray by your emotions or deceitful spirits.
He would put roadblocks on your path, checks in your spirit, and you would have to ignore them to give in to deception.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
God will confirm His word to you and lead you to make the right choice.
Lastly, I want to talk about training your ear to hear the voice of God. As a Christian single lady, it shouldn’t only be about your future husband, or about marriage, that you hear God’s voice. Learn to hear His voice in other areas too!
How to train your spiritual ear to hear when God shows you your future husband
Walk closely with God and learn to hear and differentiate his voice from other voices.
Closer intimacy gives you God’s perspective in life. It helps you to understand your purpose, the path God wants you to take in life.
This then helps you understand the kind of mate that fits you. Two cannot walk together without agreement.
If John hates the path God wants you to walk in, then John is not suitable for you, no matter the voice telling you he will be your husband.
Yes, God can show you your future husband. Do not listen to those who say God can’t.
Trust in the Lord, walk closely with him. If there’s a need for it, God will show you your future spouse.
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