The disadvantages of sex before marriage can act like a deterrent to illicit sex in many single persons and engaged couples.
But I would normally advice unmarried people to pursue sexual purity, not because they want to avoid the disadvantages of sex before marriage, but because they want to glorify God with their bodies and their lives. That is and should be the single most important reason why you avoid sexual immorality.
Like John Pipers said
“sexual Purity is less burdensome for those who hold God’s glory in high esteem.”Tweet
Why God should be the reason you avoid sex before marriage
As you’ll soon see in the disadvantages of sex before marriage below, many people can find their way around those dangers. For example, you can learn to avoid sexually transmissible infections and unwanted pregnancies. You can learn to overcome the guilt and shame, etc. So while these disadvantages should help strengthen your decision for sexual purity, consider God’s glory. Why?
Sexual purity honors God
Sexual purity testifies to the power of Jesus Christ in keeping you from sin
Disadvantages of sex before marriage
- Sex before marriage can mar your Christian testimony
Christians are not sinless people, but there are some sins that destroys a Christian’s testimony more than others. Sexual immorality is one of them. To build integrity and model Christian character, you must flee sexual sin.
- Sex before marriage distorts God’s original plan for sex
God designed sex and limited it to a heterosexual marriage between a man and a woman. sex before marriage is a sin called fornication while sex out of marriage for a married person is called adultery. Sexual immorality degrades sex to mere pleasure, but God made it for a much more intimate relationship.
- Sex before marriage exposes you to unholy ties
Sexual intercourse makes a couple one flesh. You bond with your partners in ways beyond just mere pleasure. Just as a Christian is one spirit with the Lord—a union beyond human understanding—when you join yourself in sexual intercourse with anyone, you become one flesh with that person.
- Sex before marriage breeds guilt and shame
Even when you never get caught, even when it remains between you, your partner, and God, you cannot hide from the guilt and shame that comes from indulging in sexual immorality. You need a good conscience and a sound mind, so stay away from illicit sexual encounters.
- Sex before marriage destroys your self-esteem
When your body is reduced to an object for pleasure, you degrade it. Many people who indulge in fornication don’t do it for love, they do it for pleasure. That destroys yourself esteem after the deed is done. It is honorable when a man or a woman respects your body by waiting for the right time to have sex. That right time is in marriage.
- Illicit sex builds mistrust among couples
When a dating or engaged couple has sex, it builds mistrust which can be carried over even into marriage.
- You can get sexually transmissible infections or unwanted pregnancies
Many people indulging in illicit sex hardly think of protecting themselves against infections and pregnancies. Any of these can complicate your life. You can get HIV and bring down your chances of getting married to almost zero, you can get infections that will cause infertility, you can get a child you don’t want.
- Sex before marriage can keep you from getting married.
If you contract an incurable sexually transmitted infection like HIV, it is almost impossible to find someone to marry you. Also, a promiscuous attitude is a turn off. Nobody wants to marry someone who sleeps around.
- You can marry the wrong person
If you get pregnant, you would consider marrying the author of the pregnancy. If you like how hot the girl or boy is in bed, you may choose to marry them for that reason only. Unfortunately, they may turn out to be the worse choice you ever make. It is good to consider marrying someone when you are not being forced by circumstances or sexual emotions.
- A malicious sexual partner can blackmail you
In this day of security cameras, you can have sex with a wicked soul who can use a sextape to blackmail you.
If you’ve had sex before marriage
If you are not a Christian, you need a relationship with Jesus Christ. He died for your sins. He was buried and on the third day he rose up from the dead to justify you before God. If you believe this truth in your heart and ask Jesus to forgive your sins and to be your Savior, He will come into your heart. He will forgive you, make you a new creation, a child of God, and He will empower you to live right. You then need to look for a good church family so you can grow in your relationship and knowledge of God.
If you are a Christian who gets into the sin of sex before marriage, ask God for forgiveness and cleansing from all unholy ties the sexual union has brought into your life. You need to get closer to God, read His word daily, pray daily, and depend on the Holy Spirit to help you live a sexually pure life. You need to walk away from any sexual relationship and trust God to find the right marriage mate.