Are you a Christian single who is angry at God for keeping you single for longer than you wanted? Do you want to know how to handle this common challenge of unwanted prolonged singleness?
You’re in good company. I’m sure my experience can help you navigate this painful episode of life.
As a single, I know what it is to be bitter at God for the yet unfulfilled desire to be married. I know that feeling that says God doesn’t care. Yes, I’ve once been angry at God for my being single for longer than I’d dreamed of.
But the good news is that I also learned how to be contented, to love God, and to walk with Him. I made up my mind to serve God whether I get married or remain single. My need for a savior is what brought me to the feet of Jesus, and the lack of marriage cannot take me away from that relationship. My relationship with the Lord can only get better and stronger.
The tips I give you on this post are what helped me to stop being angry at God for my singleness. I’m not prescribing to you something I copied from someone, or advice I’ve not proofed.
I will not also deceive you with 100% assurance that these tips will wash away your challenges and struggles. Being single and satisfied doesn’t mean a life without challenges. Especially, you’ll still have to deal with sexual desire and the need for companionship.
Why Singles Get Angry at God for Their Prolonged Singleness
Being angry at God for our singleness is very common among Christian singles, both males and females. One set of singles that expresses such anger frequently is those who’ve been faithfully serving God, but see others who aren’t as devoted getting married first.
We’re humans, and even when we know we should rejoice with others, it’s hard not to admit to ourselves that we’re jealous and bitter.
But did you know that that anger at God for your singleness goes deeper than just seeing others getting married or not understanding why God seems not to care? It goes beyond the frustration of being single for longer than you’d imagined. In fact, there are unwritten rules and beliefs among Christian singles that make it easier for them to become angry at God when marriage doesn’t come soon. These include statements or mindsets such as:
“If I serve God faithfully, He would reward me with a spouse speedily.”
“Prolonged singleness means God doesn’t care, He hates me.”
“Marriage is a blessing and singleness is a curse.”
“If I don’t get married, it’s God’s fault.”
When we see marriage as a debt God owes us for our services to Him, when we see marriage as a blessing and singleness as a curse, when we think our best life can only be lived in marriage, when we expect to meet our mate before a certain age, it is nearly impossible not to get angry at God when marriage delays.
And the more we dwell on the disadvantages of being single, the easier it is to get angry at God. And the more it is hard to find anything for which to appreciate the Lord. Even former hyped blessings fade in light of our present need for a spouse and God’s apparent lack of care.
How to Stop Being Angry at God for your Singleness
Being angry at God for you singleness is a symptom of an underlying problem. You must identify the root cause or causes of a problem before you can solve it.
God is a good God, an excellent, flawless Father. For a Christian to nurse resentment against God for whatever reason, it shows the Christian is seeing God in a different light from who He really is.
One important truth singles must embrace is that God owes us nothing. God does not owe you a husband or a wife. Yes, God writes beautiful love stories. And He leads His children into wonderful relationships. But no one can accuse Him of unfairness for blessing others with mates and children.
We have to speak the truth to ourselves and to others if we must see unhealthy attitudes leave us. We must face the truth if we want to live in victory and have consistent intimacy with the Lord.
One reason some singles get angry at God is the failure to take responsibility. To stop or overcome this, you must know why you are still single. Not in a self-condemnatory way. It should be an honest evaluation, so you can know what steps to take next.
While most singles are quick to believe their singleness is tied to God’s timing, that is not always the case. You need an evaluation to arrive at a conclusion.
“Is God making me wait?”
“Do I just need to focus on something else besides marriage desire in this season?”
“What steps can I take to increase my chances of getting married?”
“Is my attitude attractive to the opposite sex?”
“What and where am I missing it?”
If God is making you wait, then you’ll have to learn how to wait patiently. If God has a different agenda for you for this season, it would be a great relief for you to understand it and begin pursuing that path. If an attitude in you is pushing away potential mates, you can correct that and attract your husband or wife. If there are specific actions you need to take, then you must take them. For example, I believe there are singles ‘waiting on the Lord’ when they should be making themselves available in reputable online dating sites.
There’s absolutely no reason to be angry at God for your singleness.
If you must stop being angry at God for your singleness…
Take your relationship with the Lord seriously. Anger at God already shows a faulty relationship. Either you don’t have the right knowledge about God or you’re not spending ample time with Him in the closet. Or both.
The more I take my prayer life seriously, the less I worry about things and situations. And the less I see God as uncaring. There’ve been times I wondered whether marriage would hinder me from walking with God the way I want. Believe me, it is possible to be so much in love with the Lord that you fear marriage would hinder your spiritual life adventures.
I suspect that’s part of the reality the Apostle Paul said about the single being able to give the Lord undivided attention. Singleness is a wonderful season!
There’s absolutely no reason to be angry at God for your singleness.Tweet
Make a habit of spending time with God and see how your interests, perspectives, and ambitions change. Yes, you will still get married, but no more with the mindset that marriage is going to give you all the fulfillment in the world. You’ll get married with a deeper understanding of what the relationship symbolizes—the union of Christ and His Body, the Church.
You must know God’s purpose for your life
This is another powerful way to stop being angry at God for your singleness. I can’t imagine not resenting singleness and God if I didn’t have a purpose that makes me climb out of bed every morning. An intimate relationship with God plus a purpose-driven life bring everything into their proper perspective, it’s just hard to walk with God and then be angry at Him for not giving you a spouse yet.
A married neighbor in a marriage I admired told me marriage sometimes gets boring. A friend, in another enviable marriage, once told me she sometimes misses the freedom of her single days. So I know marriage for the sake of it will not bring lasting fulfillment and satisfaction. After the eagerness and euphoria that surround wedding and honeymoon, you’ll settle into normal life in a new phase. If your expectations were wrong, you would be greatly discontented. You’d want to have your single days back.
Your purpose is your life’s focus, whether you remain single or get married. That’s something that, in its absence, your life will always feel lacking. You can’t fill the void of purpose with a husband or a wife. In marriage, you might just find something else to be angry at God if you don’t correct wrong mindsets now.
One advantage of walking with God now is that you begin to get His perspective on life. It will not erase your challenges with singleness, but it makes it almost impossible for you to latch on to resentment at God when you don’t get married soon.
Being yet-unmarried can be a huge blessing
“Are you serious?” Yes, I’m dead serious.
There are many singles angry at God for their singleness when they should instead thank Him that they’ve not yet tied the knot in marriage. It’s not everyone who is married that’s in the right place at the right time.
One unpopular truth I’ve embraced is that singleness can be better than marriage. Marriage is a blessing, but so is singleness. There are things you can achieve now that might be hard or even impossible when you get married. If you think the only purpose of your single season is to meet Mr. or Miss Right, you’re missing out a lot on the things God wants to do in your life right now.
Being angry at God for your singleness hinders you from maximizing this season of life. That resentment blinds your focus, it blurs your spiritual hearing, and dampens your zeal for adventures with God.
How to Turn your Anger at God into a Blessing
That anger reflects the degree to which you desire marriage. It shows you really, really, want to be married. The best way to turn that into a blessing, besides considering the points above, is to assess your attractiveness and readiness for marriage. Desiring marriage and being ready for marriage are not the same thing.
Being angry at God for your singleness hinders you from maximizing this season of life.Tweet
Instead of letting anger at God for your singleness to destroy your relationship with the Lord, look for ways to improve yourself, spiritually, physically, financially, and psychologically. This is a beautiful season. Maximize it!
Recommended: Books for Christian Singles who Want to Get Married