“Advice for Christian single women” is a broad topic, so instead of offering you a few tips on dating or how to enjoy your single season, this post is going to give you a detailed treatment of the main life aspects that a Christian single woman needs advice and encouragement on.
Although it has its unique challenges, living single as a Christian woman is not different from living like any other Christian. That is why advice to singles that centers only around dating and relationships don’t always deal with some of the most pressing needs of unmarried people. I know it because I’m also single.
“Ministry to singles is most helpful when it avoids an emphasis on matchmaking and dating, and is sensitive to the personal and spiritual needs of single people.”Gary R. Collins.
Advice for Christian single women on the Godly Life
Your relationship with God is the most important relationship you can build. This is because this solid foundation will help you deal with most of the challenges Christian single women face like issues with sexual purity, low self-esteem, and loneliness. Let God be your first husband, your source of joy, strength, and confidence. One reason why many Christian single women get desperate or rush into wrong relationships is that we don’t have a great relationship with the Lord. Remember that if God can’t satisfy you, no man will.
Love yourself. It is godly to love you. Because God loves you. To hate your single self is to belittle the great value God places on you. And it is to place yourself in a place where you’re hungry for the validation of others, especially the validation of a guy. That’s not healthy. Your identity in Christ far outweighs the opinions of people and your inner critic. Sis, you’re a daughter of the King!
Read also: Practical Ways to Love your Christian Single Self.
Find God’s will for your life now. This not only shields you from an aimless living, but it also helps you avoid aimless relationships. Christian single women who live purposelessly soon find singleness a burden to be escaped from at all cost. Unfortunately, this means increase chances of mistakes in choosing marriage partners.
Don’t use God or the church to find a mate. Love God for God, as your creator and owner. Seek to follow him with all your heart, but not as a manipulative means to get a mate. When you use God or the church to find a mate, you set up your heart for disappointment if things don’t work out the way you want it and when you want it. Don’t give room for that. Attend and serve in the church according to the Bible’s instructions not to forsake the assembling together of the saints. You might find your mate in church, but that shouldn’t be your goal.
Avoid anger at God if marriage delays. God loves you, he has only good thoughts and plans for you. A Christian single woman that gets angry with God for her singleness doesn’t know God. It is a sign of a faulty relationship with the Lord.
Glorify God in and with your body. Fornication is a sin against God, whose Spirit lives in you. Abstain from sex before marriage.
Advice for Christian single women on dating and relationships
Date with the purpose to get married. If he doesn’t have marriage in view, sis, please walk away. Don’t tolerate relationships that breed sexual misconduct. You’re too beautiful to sleep around, you’re worthy to be courted and wedded.
Don’t tolerate toxic relationships. God wants you to have godly, healthy relationships. Trust him to bring a godly man your way.
Learn how to attract a godly man. Don’t wait on God to provide your husband like someone bingeing on the TV while fantasizing about God dropping your man at your doorsteps. Find ways to make yourself available without compromising godly principles. Join singles ministries in your church or around. If you want it, search for reputable Christian dating sites.
Your choice of mate should be yours, not your pastor’s or parents’. While parents and spiritual leaders can help you avoid bad choices, they should never match you with a guy you don’t like. If you’re confused, pray and seek help. But if you’re not for a relationship, let it go no matter who tells you the guy is the right one for you.
Deal with hangovers from previous relationships that may hinder new relationships. Do not let the baggage from exes and past relationships hinder you from meeting awesome Christian single men today. Learn to deal with your previous relationship hurts before getting into new relationships.
Don’t see a husband in every single guy you get close to. This can be hard, but you need to protect your heart. You can be friends with a single guy without a marriage agenda. That way, you learn to create healthy friendships that do not build resentment if the man goes for someone else.
Advice for Christian single women on waiting on God
It is true that God can make you wait for a husband. Depending on his plan for your life, God can tell you not to date offline or online. This is yet another important reason to build a strong relationship with the Lord—so you can follow his lead for your life. You don’t have to look around and do what everyone else is doing.
So if God makes you wait for a husband, sis, wait. Believe that God has only your best interest at heart. Then you wait the right way.
Advice for Christian single women on how to enjoy your singleness
Christian singleness doesn’t have to be a season of loneliness, low self-esteem, frustration, or depression. You can enjoy this season. This is such an important topic that I’ve dedicated a large section of a blog post to it. Find it here.
Advice for Christian single women on life in general
Don’t live in the future. You have a life NOW. Don’t push your happiness, self-development, and pursuits to when you’ll get married. Prepare for the future, but live ACTIVELY now.
Invest in personal development. If you can, where necessary, pursue [another] degree, learn a skill, learn financial management, learn how to care for your body and your person. You’re a complete individual even right now. You can and should enjoy the experience of being human within Christian confines.
Learn to enjoy being alone. Friends are great, but you should also learn to enjoy being alone, to date yourself. This is part of loving yourself. Being alone is quite different from loneliness. Loneliness has to do with sadness, frustration, desperation, depression because of unfulfilled dreams. Being alone is to enjoy being yourself without the validation of other people’s company. You can watch a movie, read a book, reflect on your life, do one and a thousand things alone.
Read Also: Things to do as a Christian Single Woman
Create friendships with a variety of people
Whenever one’s happiness, purpose in life, and self-esteem primarily depend on some other person, an unhealthy dependency relationship can develop that may be dangerous and destructive if the other person fails, dies, or leaves. Our complete identities are formed as we determine our God-given purposes in life, develop abilities and gifts, and build relationships with a variety of peopleGary R. Collins
Cultivate a positive outlook in life. You can’t be a happy single without a positive outlook on life. This is possible as you stop living in the future and start living actively NOW. This is also possible as you believe God’s report for you regardless of your present circumstances. Even when marriage delays, that is not the end of life for you.
There’s more to advice for Christian single women. I pray that as you reflect on what you’ve read, that the Lord will encourage you to rise up to his plan and purposes for you in this season of your singleness.